impressions of a crazy motherfucker

forty-five magnitudes of crazy shit, happening all the time

moonshinebreadhaus:

Over two and a half years ago, an attempt at a blog was made. It didn’t go so well. At the time I was unemployed, broke and couldn’t cook for shit. For all the drunken rambling, I hadn’t accrued a moment of professional kitchen experience. Reading back on those entries is thoroughly embarrassing, but I’ve decided to keep them, as a reminder of how far I’ve come, and how far I have yet to go.

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Here’s my blog. It’s an embarrassing account of my chosen obsession. Tell your friends’ grandparents.

Welcome home   

tinylentils:

So I met this girl. She gave me the giant rotting pumpkin she kept in her car, and suddenly all my cookies have apples in em. It’s the darnedest thing. This is our food blog.

(Source: frankocean)

1936 Underwood Deluxe (Taken with instagram)
He played well. Still took his money.

jonesoobala:

svalts:

Pokemon Trainers - by Akai Tera

Website | Twitter

this needs to happen for real

(Source: svalts)

myvynlpyl:

If you need a good wtf, head on over to MTV’s Musical March Madness. There, you will witness the epitome of what’s wrong with today’s youth and/or the world everything. Enjoy.

U2 vs. Modest Mouse… Radiohead vs. Bruce Springsteen… Linkin Park vs. At The Drive In… Green Day vs. the Decemberists… Bon Iver vs. Sum 41… Best Coast vs. Skrillex… Right.
I read an article this morning about why so many people in Alabama and Mississippi seem to think Obama is a Muslim (hint: they don’t). The same phenomenon seems to be at play here. Precisely 0% of the above options should EVER even be CONSIDERED. It’s like comparing apples to ass rape.
Let’s not blame this one on the kids. Let’s blame it on their parents and older siblings, who failed to teach them how to find decent music beyond MTV. Orphans, you’re on your own on this one. And pretty much every other one. 
Honestly I had no idea MTV still even attempted to associate itself with music these days, before seeing this.

myvynlpyl:

If you need a good wtf, head on over to MTV’s Musical March Madness. There, you will witness the epitome of what’s wrong with today’s youth and/or the world everything. Enjoy.

U2 vs. Modest Mouse… Radiohead vs. Bruce Springsteen… Linkin Park vs. At The Drive In… Green Day vs. the Decemberists… Bon Iver vs. Sum 41… Best Coast vs. Skrillex… Right.

I read an article this morning about why so many people in Alabama and Mississippi seem to think Obama is a Muslim (hint: they don’t). The same phenomenon seems to be at play here. Precisely 0% of the above options should EVER even be CONSIDERED. It’s like comparing apples to ass rape.

Let’s not blame this one on the kids. Let’s blame it on their parents and older siblings, who failed to teach them how to find decent music beyond MTV. Orphans, you’re on your own on this one. And pretty much every other one. 

Honestly I had no idea MTV still even attempted to associate itself with music these days, before seeing this.

Visible Children: We got trouble.

In the past 24 hours, you probably heard a lot about Joseph Kony, the Lord’s Resistance Army. and the Invisible Children charity. Please, take a moment to read this.

visiblechildren:

For those asking what you can do to help, please link to visiblechildren.tumblr.com wherever you see KONY 2012 posts. And tweet a link to this page to famous people on Twitter who are talking about KONY 2012!

I do not doubt for a second that those involved in KONY 2012 have great intentions, nor…

(Source: bbook, via megscan)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

LOOK, PAL. I GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, I REALLY DO. I ACTUALLY THINK IT’S GREAT YOU CAN’T SMOKE IN RESTAURANTS ANYMORE. EVERYONE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH A MEAL WITHOUT A CIGARETTE.
ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT 25 FEET FROM THE DOOR OF A BUILDING IS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR OF ANOTHER BUILDING AND THE FUCKING STREET IS ONLY 30 FEET WIDE. I’D STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, BUT THAT’S ILLEGAL TOO. WHAT ISN’T ILLEGAL, STRANGELY, IS SMOKING. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THE SIN TAX ON CIGARETTES IN 2010 WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR $16.5 BILLION IN REVENUE NATIONWIDE.
I’M TRYING TO DO IT OUTSIDE SO EVERYONE CAN HAVE A NICE DINNER BUT I’M NOT GOING TO CLIMB THE GOD DAMNED FIRE ESCAPE TO DO IT ON THE ROOF. I’M OUTSIDE. I’M FREEZING. I’M PAYING $9.75 A PACK. 
IF YOU WANT TO GET RID OF THE THINGS, OUTLAW THEM. I DON’T SMOKE POT ON THE STREET. I DON’T SMOKE CRACK HERE EITHER. BUT I’M GOING TO LIGHT THIS THING BECAUSE THE MONEY I PAID FOR IT BUILT THIS SIDEWALK, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT WE CAN EITHER HAVE A KNIFE FIGHT OR YOU CAN PISS OFF AND GO BACK INSIDE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

LOOK, PAL. I GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, I REALLY DO. I ACTUALLY THINK IT’S GREAT YOU CAN’T SMOKE IN RESTAURANTS ANYMORE. EVERYONE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH A MEAL WITHOUT A CIGARETTE.

ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT 25 FEET FROM THE DOOR OF A BUILDING IS IN FRONT OF THE DOOR OF ANOTHER BUILDING AND THE FUCKING STREET IS ONLY 30 FEET WIDE. I’D STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, BUT THAT’S ILLEGAL TOO. WHAT ISN’T ILLEGAL, STRANGELY, IS SMOKING. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THE SIN TAX ON CIGARETTES IN 2010 WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR $16.5 BILLION IN REVENUE NATIONWIDE.

I’M TRYING TO DO IT OUTSIDE SO EVERYONE CAN HAVE A NICE DINNER BUT I’M NOT GOING TO CLIMB THE GOD DAMNED FIRE ESCAPE TO DO IT ON THE ROOF. I’M OUTSIDE. I’M FREEZING. I’M PAYING $9.75 A PACK. 

IF YOU WANT TO GET RID OF THE THINGS, OUTLAW THEM. I DON’T SMOKE POT ON THE STREET. I DON’T SMOKE CRACK HERE EITHER. BUT I’M GOING TO LIGHT THIS THING BECAUSE THE MONEY I PAID FOR IT BUILT THIS SIDEWALK, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT WE CAN EITHER HAVE A KNIFE FIGHT OR YOU CAN PISS OFF AND GO BACK INSIDE.

(Source: fokyeahyolandi, via oratrix)